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Ay, the secret is getting out there. Asian men are highly dateable. Here’s the official Gumship breakdown (aka fuck this list) for all you girls out there who might could see themselves with a yung Steve Yeung or a dude whose actual last name is Bae. 

1. Cook you a ramen with all the fix-ins (pronounced feeeecks-ins)

You still eating that instant ramen with just the two packets and boiling water? Take my hand and climb on this carpet, Jasmine, because it’s about to be a whole new world. I’m talking about… allllllllll the feeex-ins. What fix-ins? Wouldn’t you like to know!

2. Serenade you in a Karaoke room

Asian men can’t wait to get you in that Karaoke room, punch in the numbers, and transform into the Asian Usher. Matter fact, if you’re reading this you probably got hints of yellow fever and enjoy some type of kpop, so we’ll throw that on the playlist too. Some Backstreet Boys too. Some 2pac too. Bohemian Rhapsody? Whatever, whatever.

3. Get your taxes and other life stuff in order

Not saying we’re all good at crunching numbers or we’re all super responsible. But yo, I would be lying if I didn’t say I knew somebody who’s probably going to remind me that I have to get something done and then another guy who’ll get it done for me. And this goes for pretty much everything in the category of important life tasks. Definitely generalizing here but it seems like Asians revel in reminding each other to do shit and it’s a beautiful thing.

4. Bring your parents some fruit

If we like you, might fuck around and bring your parents a whole box of fruit. It’s a common tradition within the Asian community and we have plenty more of those beautiful techniques to warm you and your folks hearts.

5. Asian guys are freaks

Every race got their even distribution of prudes and freaks. But there’s all kinds of suppressed feelings from the conservatism rooted in us from our motherlands and image issues due to some of the saddest media representation seen by any minority group that all converge into a higher likelihood of us eating out your asshole. Also, Japan.

6. Gifts

Sanrio, we know where to get it. We been known for a very long time. Designer bags and all that’s luxurious, we know about that too. Thank our designer bag-pheenin’ moms for that. Best of both worlds.

7. We’ll party with you

Want to grab a drink at the bar? Cool. Want to get high? Sure. Wanna marathon through seasons of The Wire? Yerrrr, we can hang. We’ve been marathoning series since forever. #turnup

8. Kick somebody in the face for you

I don’t know how it’s still a common misconception that Asian dudes are docile and won’t stick up for themselves or more importantly, their women. If somebody’s messing with you, words will be exchanged. And hopefully that’s about as far as it goes. But sometimes things escalate and then a beautifully executed kick sometimes lands on a face like a swan on lake. Who doesn’t want to be the love interest in a real life martial arts film?

9. None or all the above

The best part of all is an Asian dude will probably do none or all the above. CAN’T PUT US IN A BOX, GIRRRRRL~. Except the ramen one, that’s definitely true.

Can’t wait to cop yo’ parents that box of fruit, girllllll. Hit me up on Twitter and Instagram. Check out Gumship Radio for conversations with some of the most interesting Asian guys (and girls!) on planet earth and follow Gumship on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

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founded Gumship in 2012 to document the Asian American experience through culture, lifestyle and entertainment. When he's not blogging, he creates music as the rapper Rekstizzy. Hobbies include ramen, fried chicken, and pizza. If he could eat all three at the same time, the joy in his heart would cause him to levitate off the floor in a spiral motion.
  • fairness09

    The quality of writing really level dropped in Gumship.

    It used to be back in ’12 that Gumship was poised to be a cool positive and fresh culturally relevant type of site, now it became a type of dumpster where writing is published with seemingly very little editing or any actual intellectual rigor involved..

    • GUMSHIP

      sorry you feel that way, man. i honestly feel like it was a beautifully written piece complemented with specially curated visions. stay tuned tho because we have a very interesting piece on the way (prolly tomorrow or wednesday).