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Before i lost my pocket-pussy virginity, i thought putting your dick inside one meant you were a loser. This feeling was based on ignorance and fear of the unknown. I committed the crime of judging something I knew nothing about.

words by Joel Chang (@joelchangbang)

My first encounter with a pocket pussy involved my mother. I was visiting my parents’ house one weekend and my mother walks up to me with a worried look on her face.

Mother: Come with me to your brother’s room.
Me: Whats wrong?
Mother: I found something in your brother’s room that i need to show you.

Immediately i thought of the worst case scenario. Maybe he had bags of crack and heroin or a knife with blood on its blade.

She went over to his desk, opened one of the drawers and pulled out this thing that looked like a huge plastic toy flashlight. I knew exactly what she was holding in her hand. I recognized it from the ads on every porn site.
Mother: Do you know what this is?
Me: No.
Mother: This is a woman’s private part.
(she opens the cover to show me a pink mold of a vagina)
Me: Oh word…
Mother: Should I confront him about this? What should I do?
Me: I think you should put it back and never bring it up to him.
(If my brother is reading this, yea umma totally found it :/)

Fortunately, my mother didn’t say anything. However, I couldnt get the pocket pussy (fleshlight to be exact) out of my mind. “How does it feel?” “Does it really feel that good?” These thoughts plagued my mind for weeks before i finally gave in to my curiosity.

I went with the fleshlight, specifically the S.T.U. (Stamina Training Unit)

Now I’m not trying to brag or talk shit, but i am  able to violently fuck amazing Goddess-like vaginas without busting. But that fleshlight made me feel like a virgin.

My first time was memorable. Feelings of anticipation, excitement, curiosity, and a tiny hint of shame was felt as the tip of my erect cock touched the lubricated pussy lips of my brand new fleshlight. I slowly started moving it and went deeper and deeper until it got to the base of my pubic bone.

At that moment, the only thought that i had in my head was “I’m going to cum”. I didnt want to cum so quickly but if i pulled out, the sensation of pulling out would’ve made me shoot my load all over my keyboard. I had to focus and use all my willpower. A vein was bulging from my head. I think i lasted 40 seconds at best.

From that experience, my perspective on male sex toys changed. Like a born again Christian, I had to go to the highest mountain top and spread the gospel of the fleshlight. I told everyone about it. Most of my friends found it hilarious that I owned one and as for the ones that judged me, i told them they were missing out. Well, some people think sushi is disgusting without ever having tried it. If they were to let go of their fear and ignorance, they might realize how delicious sushi can be.

Men shouldn’t feel weird or ashamed about owning a sex toy. Owning a sex toy doesn’t not mean that you’re unable to meet girls. Owning a sex toy doesn’t make you any more perverted than a woman with a vibrator or a dildo. It just means that you want a better feeling sensation than your hand when you jerk off. If young men were more open to sex toys, there would be no purpose in buying melons or cantaloupes other than to eat them.

Do you want something that feels better than your hand? Do you want to last longer? What about those lonely nights under the moonlight? The pocket pussy is the answer.

If reading this has convinced you to join the darkside than you must know that there are two leading brands of pocket pussy. There’s the Fleshlight of the west and the Tenga of the east. I’ll admit I didn’t know about the latter until I pitched this story and Gumship made me go out and do ‘research’ (Editor’s note: Haha I did! #journalism). The Tenga is readily available in multiple locations in Manhattan which saved me a trip to Japan. I purchased the disposable Tenga (good for one wank) for 10 dollars.

It was research time. I put on some MILF porn (what I’m into at the moment) and let nature take its course. I peeled off the lid of the tenga *disposable ones have their own lube inside* and proceeded to penetrate. The sensation was better than my hand, but not as good as my fleshlight. The ribbed canal was a plus but i noticed that I was filling up the Tenga quite nicely. If the guy fucking the milf in the video was to try to use my tenga, he would have some difficulty. In case you people (ladies) were wondering I’m 6 inches with the girth of an egg roll.

In all honesty, if you’re planning on buying one, spend a little bit more cash and get a Fleshlight or a more expensive Tenga. Shit, ball the fuck out and buy three different ones so you can have a harem going. Buy one for every day of the week. Or you can get a wifey fleshlight and a tenga sidepiece. Just tell the wife you’re going on a business trip, then get freaky with your exotic mistress. Go crazy and insert a pocket pussy inside of a prostitute’s pussy and fuck the pocket pussy. Life is short, let’s live before we die.

Don’t worry ladies, there’s nothing like the real thing.

Joel’s Pocket Pussy Commandments:

1- Always clean thoroughly after use

2- Never share with others

3- Never fall in love with your pocket pussy

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