With All-Star Weekend over and the second half of the season gearing up, NBA fans are wondering: how does Jeremy and the Knicks’ Cinderella story play out?
Here’s my prediction:
Jeremy averages 30 points, 15 assists and 5 steals in the playoffs, sweeping the Magic, Bulls, Heat and Thunder to win the Chip and Finals MVP. Jeremy continues to remain genuinely humble in his Finals postgame press conference: “Obviously, I don’t want all the focus to be on me, you know, guys like Shump and Novak and Jared, they deserve a lot more credit because we really played together as a team. Hopefully Linsanity dies down a little bit”.
With a busy summer ahead of him, Jeremy gives Metta World Peace a call to finally get the makeover Joan Rivers has been clamoring for on E! Fashion Police. He gets a fresh cut at Astor Place Barbershop as Ron Ron personally styles every strand of his hair with gel. No makeover would be complete without a trip to Daffy’s in Herald Square for some leather pants and shades. While Jeremy soaks in Ron’s fashion sense, Lin’s calming presence rubs off on World Peace and he is cured of his bi-polar disorder.
With his Wall Street W Hotel lease up, Jeremy gets nostalgic and sleeps on Landry’s couch again for a week. After realizing he’s the King of New York and could do much better than Landry’s, Lin decides to take up A-Rod’s offer to crash at his swanky Central Park West pad. The two become best bros and New York respects A-Rod
again for the first time. They cause a tabloid frenzy whenever they go out; TMZ single-handedly boosts the city’s economy by hiring every Occupy Wall Street protester as extra cameramen. Page Six reports that on one Friday night, “J-Rod” was able to walk-in and get a table at Lavo when the manager decided to push back the reservation of Eli and new Jets Quarterback Peyton Manning. Metta World Peace tries to crash the dinner but gets escorted out of the restaurant immediately, getting into a brawl with four different cab drivers when they refuse to drive him to Queensbridge. On second hand, Lin cannot take the crazy out of Ron Ron.
After a couple of weeks of R&R under his belt, Jeremy knows it’s time to get back to work. He won’t ever take his success for granted and reminds himself a champion proves it everyday. Cut twice. Demoted to the D-League. He’s still got that chip on his shoulder. He looks for ways to elevate his game even higher.
Can’t go left? He makes his right hand the weak side.
Too many turnovers? No more turnovers.
Deceptively quick? He doesn’t even know what that means. Neither does Merriam-Webster, and now nobody will; Merriam-Webster decides to take out all forms of “deceptive” from the English dictionary and replace it with Linsanity. Now he’s just quick.
Different animal, same beast as they say. Lin gives Black Mamba a call to get on the Kobe System but Kobe forgets who Jeremy is: “Jeremy who? Yao? Yi? I never heard of you kid, you wasn’t with me shooting in the gym.”
Lin brushes it off; he’s got bigger issues to worry about. That August, Lin travels to China for his Nike World Tour while simultaneously unifying Taiwan and China and North and South Korea (apparently two countries weren’t enough).
Jeremy comes back in September and accepts his Noble Peace Prize at the White House while Obama announces Lin will take his place in the 2012 Presidential race (apparently two minority leaders is too much for America to handle).
Lin proceeds to tell the press he is working with Congress on revising the 22nd Amendment to stay in power indefinitely when he wins (obviously two terms aren’t enough).
He then announces Sarah Palin will be his Vice President running mate as she gallops on stage waving a Linsanity T-shirt. Palin says she is over Glen Rice and has Lin fever, claiming, “Jeremy is an inspirational American story that unifies our country” (she actually did say that).
September rolls around and it’s time for the start of training camp. Jeremy can finally block out all the distractions and just concentrate on basketball.
The sky’s the limit.
Words by Charlie Hyun