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Guys, please keep your struggle ‘you don’t need makeup because you’re beautiful just the way you are’ pickup lines to yourself. Instead of trying to ‘rescue’ us from ourselves (you ain’t no Bruno Mars), learn to appreciate the things women are into and you might actually have a chance. A great place to look for clues to understanding your crush are the top make-up gurus on YouTube whose subscription numbers easily reach the hundreds of thousands. Not only are their advanced techniques apparent but they cater to different types. So, here are five of the best out and what you might glean from your girl’s subscription to their page.

by Candace Kwan (twitter / instagram)

Michelle Phan

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The hype: If you’ve got to know one name in the make-up guru universe and its corresponding fandom, it HAS to be Michelle Phan. She’s been making YouTube videos since 2006, and has garnered over 5.6 million subscribers over the last seven years. She even has her own make-up line (EM-Cosmetics) now. I’m jealous of all the girls who are growing up with make-up gurus – I mean, trying to achieve a smokey-eye look without appearing as if I just got punched would have been easier. Trying to follow a tutorial from an issue of Seventeen or Teen Vogue felt like this. MP’s channel has everything from Brows 101 to crazy-intricate Halloween looks. The best.

The scoop: Your crush is probably a huge romantic (does she like “The Notebook”?) and might secretly wish that you were her own French model boyfriend. Seriously, Michelle humblebrags about snagging her man quite a bit – they met in a café. In Paris. Love at first sight and all of that jazz. I’m not jealous though.

Promise Phan

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The hype: Her sister-in-law, has just as fervent of a following, if not more – have you seen the “Mother of Makeup Meme”? She’s transformed herself into many of our favorite celebrities – Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansson, Adriana Lima, Rihanna, the Mona Lisa…and Drake. Yes, Drake.

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The scoop: Your girl might be into gender-bending, and even if she isn’t, Promise is so damn good that she just gave your potential significant other the skills to make it happen. Listen, some of ya’ll like different things, we don’t judge!

RaeView

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The hype: Make-up’s everywhere, if you know where to look – grocery stores, a small section in almost every clothing store ever and drugstores… pretty much everywhere, if you catch my drift. Raeview’s a little different – her channel focuses almost exclusively on high-end and designer make-up (think Chanel, Dior and Tom Ford versus Revlon, Maybelline and CoverGirl). If you’re going to splurge on something, we’ve gotta do our research. Ain’t nobody got time to google blogs and scoll through endless pages of reviews. Raeview’s got us covered – her channel is professional (no rambly three-minute intros and random interruptions). She knows her stuff and we’re going to take her word for it.

The scoop: This girl is into the better things in life i.e. the premium shit (it’s quality, not quantity!) – that “maybe you’re born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline” drugstore crap might not cut it.

ilikeweylie

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The hype: Girl-next-door – with a tongue like a blade. She keeps it real – her videos are brutally honest, almost endearingly so. It’s almost like having a girlfriend that you can turn to if you want her to spill the truth, good AND bad.

Apart from the usual tutorials and make-up hauls, to a lot of girls, Weylie is like the older sister we never had. I mean, who else is going to be real with us about breakups, makeup blunders and tampons (weirdly enough, that video has over five million views)? There’s some serious #girltalk going on.

The scoop: Your crush might be biting her tongue a lot – that or you’ve already built a resistance to her sass. Either way, she can be the voice of reason in your life, because she tells is like it is.

SecretLifeOfABioNerd

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The hype: Beauty and brains – K.L Cao’s initial major was Biology, but ended up in design school a little later. Her channel’s filled with in-depth tutorials – everything from how to trim your own bangs to how to turn a men’s sweater into a pair of shorts, warmers and a beret. Whatttt? WHAT IS THIS SORCERY? Needless to say, she makes DIY projects seem like a no brainer – I mean who wouldn’t want to grab something from their wardrobe and create three new things out of it? #alchemist

The scoop: You saw this one coming. She’s probably into DIY projects (is Pinterest one of her favorite websites? What about Etsy?), and would probably swoon if you made her something…wait, isn’t Valentine’s day coming up?

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